THE LION THE GORILLA AND THE WARDROBE MALFUNCTION
And Matt is cast out of Nicarnarnia. “Oh my goodness” is all he can say. Yes Matt, that’s what screwed you…. your goodness.What were you thinking shaking hands with the enemy? We had everything in this episode. The sparkle of a new romance mixed with emotional drama, scintillating action & knee slapping comedy.
Romance: We had the beginning of a showmance with Matt & Andrea. Rob snuffed that out in a hurry, Matt’s only chance to re-unite with his love is redemption. No, not through his lord, he’ll have to go through Frantom of the opera.
Drama: Ralph the human chia pet / cockadoodle dude found the hotdawgy dagnabbett immunity idol & challenged Russell to a good old fashioned hillbilly survivor smackdown. May the smartest man win. Clearly they are both unarmed for this battle.
Action: The challenge was close but Zapatera won immunity. Phillip should have worn his superman underwear for the challenge it worked on the crabs AH WOO AH ! I didn’t realize the hairless mole rat was indigenous to Nicaragua….? Wait, that’s not a hairless mole rat !! Phillip, for Gods sake put your pants on !!
Comedy: A new cliché introduced by Phillip. “Survivor of the fittest” followed by his pre tribal council speech to the tribe after their loss: “I think you all did gallantry in the challenge” He throws himself on his sword & says “I will face my nemesis Francesquaw (that’s her native warrior name) whatever you decide to do I understand” Just don’t talk while I’m talking… anybody else have anything to say? No? Cause now’s the time, I’m finished talking.. for now. Did I mention I am a former federal agent? Have you seen my Gorilla & Lion tattoos? I am just like the Gorilla & the Lion. I am a Gorillion. Not to be confused with the Monkey Lion or the Tiger Ape or the more common Lion Cheetah.
Yes, Phillip is every bit a Lion and a Gorilla.
Like the Lion, he lets the women do all the work & like the Gorilla he just sits around beating his chest.
AH WOO AH !
Here’s the boot list at week 2:
itsnotrealitstv 
