Episode 14 – And the Winner Is…….

Grant arrives at Redemption Island & Andrea is very disappointed. She hoped to see a weaker competitor & is definitely the underdog in the upcoming duel. Matt is shown on the breakwater at redemption Is. He is one with his surroundings and has accepted the path his lord has put him on. It looks like he’s trying to part the seas like Moses.

Immunity Challenge – Life in the balance

Contestants must hold one foot on the end of a teeter totter with a vase balancing on the other end. If your vase drops, you’re out. First 3 out go to the jury. Last one goes back in the game. Grant is the first one out, followed by Matt. Andrea & Mike hang on Mike looks like he’s cramping & his vase wobbles. He is out of the challenge & feels the agony of De Feet? Andrea returns to the game, twisting the knife further into Matt’s back. Bitter? Bitter, party of one, your table is ready.

Andrea’s first day back at camp is awkward. She decides to try & work on the girls with an all female final 3 (all girl puppet power) proposal. The girls seem receptive but they’re just toying with her. They have no intention of blindsiding Rob. Ashley has a private chat with Natalie to confirm that if Andrea wins immunity it will be Phillip going to the jury & not her.  Rob wants Ashley to think it’s Andrea going to the jury but if Ashley doesn’t win immunity he’s sending her. She’s dangerous & a bad influence on his precious Natalie.

Immunity Challenge – Your Days Are Numbered

Contestants must race across a balance beam retrieve a bag full of numbered tiles that is tied to the beam. Once they have the bag, continue to the end of the beam dismount (no points for dismount) & onto the puzzle completion area where they must lay out the numbered tiles in order. If you fall off the beam you go back & start from the beginning. Each bag must be retrieved individually. Once they have put the tiles in numerical order for that bag they go back on the balance beam to retrieve the next bag. Each bag contains a different amount of tiles. Bag # 1 contains 10 tiles bag #2 contains 20 tiles bag # 3 contains 30 tiles & the final bag contains 40 tiles. Ashley is quite a bit ahead but Rob makes a good run for it in the end. Ashley wins but only by a few tiles. She is safe for another vote.

Rob isn’t worried, he’ll go with plan B & Andrea will go to the jury. He decides to go fishing & while he’s gone Andrea plots with the girls to get rid of Rob while they can. Telling them that when she was on Redemption Is everyone said they would vote for Rob or Phillip not the girls who are riding on Robs coat tails. Natalie & Ashley go off & talk by themselves in the bushes all under the watchful eye of the specialist. Ashley makes Natalie pinky swear that if she doesn’t win the next challenge Phillip will go before her. Phillip reports their liaison to Rob upon his return & Rob still doesn’t feel any concern. He evens says that he may not play the idol. Maybe he’ll keep it as a souvenir.

Tribal council arrives & Phillip once again rants about Stealth R Us & him being the undercover specialist, so when he saw the girls talking he had to report it to his superior. Everyone votes & Rob decides since it‘s the last time he can do it, he plays the idol. No surprise Andrea is sent packing.

Back to camp & back to strategy. While Phillip is collecting firewood or counting grains of rice, Rob & the girls have a meeting & pinky swear (the universal personal guarantee) to each other that they are final 3

Immunity Challenge – Lost in the Game

Contestants must make their way through a giant maze. There are four stations in the maze where they will collect 4 bags containing puzzle pieces. Once collected they must build a puzzle in their station to form a 4 word phrase. Rob blasts ahead, Natalie gets lost, Phillip goes in a different direction & Ashley just follows Rob. Hmmmmm ? That pretty much mimics how the entire game of Survivor has gone. Rob continues his lead trying to lose Ashley but she stays right behind him. They both start building their puzzle & Rob completes his just seconds ahead of Ashley & wins immunity & is guaranteed a spot in the final 3.

They return to camp & Phillip says to Rob that he has 7 sisters & not one of them is as lazy as Ashley. He’s never met anyone that could lay in bed day after day & do nothing. Natalie says she’d rather lose a friend than a million dollars but is hoping to send Phillip to the jury. At tribal council the final 4 vote & the last blindside sends Ashley to the jury.

Phillip says it’s ok for him to tell the world that he has a relationship with someone who’s been dead since 1870. I guess he’s right…. as long as they’re not sitting in a rocking chair in your attic.

Then, what a treat we get a final picture of Phillip bathing in his underwear. He then decides (instead of putting them up on Ebay) it’s time to burn his infamous stinky pinkies. I wouldn’t be roasting any marshmallows over that fire.

Final tribal council & speeches start with Rob giving a heart warming speech about family & Phillip telling everyone his brilliant plan to become the villain so he would be guaranteed a spot in the final. Did he learn nothing from Russell? For an “undercover special agent” he’s pretty clueless. Mean don’t get the green. Natalie’s speech was as expected boring. “My strategy was to align with a strong player” …… ummmm, uh, some . . . people out there in our nation don’t have maps and, uh, I believe that our, uh, education like such as in South Africa and, uh, the,  Iraq everywhere like such as, and, I believe that they should, our education over HERE in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh, or, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian Countries so we will be able to build up our future, for our children. Hopefully all of you remember that hilarious answer from Caitlin Upton in the Miss Teen USA pageant, when she was asked why some Americans can’t locate the US on a world map. Classic ! Oh, she forgot one thing: World Peace. Thank you.

Rob’s lawyer David gives his closing argument.  Poor Phillip didn’t have his council at the finale & every time he tried to answer someone’s question the audience or the jury burst into laughter. I’m not sure they bought what he was selling. In the end only Ralph seemed like he cared what Phillip thought. He was disappointed to see only 3 feathers in Phillips headdress & asked him: “if we were in the same tribe would you & I have been friends?”  Phillip confirms, of course Ralph we’d be besties! BFF’s, bosom buddies, brothers from another mother. That sold Ralph, since he was the only one to vote for Phillip (or Phile as he affectionately calls him) earning him second place. Rob took every other vote. Jeff tells him he thought he played a near perfect game. Rob Mariano is the final survivor & Jenny is the winner of our pool. Congratulations to both of you.

Here is your final results:

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Episode 13- Keep Your Friends Close

Returning from tribal council everyone seems satisfied with the decision to let Andrea go. Apparently Ashley loves blindsides. Hope she feels the same way when it’s her being blindsided. Ashley & Natalie discuss the remaining tribe members & the pecking order. Rob sees them talking & gets Natalie to divulge what was said. She tells him what they talked about & Rob tells Natalie that she needs to keep Ashley close & let him know if she discusses anything about strategy. Rob’s been waiting 10 yrs for this & he’s not going to let Ashley get in the way of a million dollars.

Andrea shows up up at “The Isle of Redemption” She tells Matt: “I know you hate me, you kept giving me dirty looks at the duel” Matt tells her he doesn’t hate her, he just didn’t like it that every time he looked over at her she would give him the sad puppy dog eyes.

Andrea tells Matt he was wishy washy & threw her under the bus when he told Rob they were discussing blindsiding him. Matt says he’s: “sorry for ruining your Survivor game” Andrea say’s: “It doesn’t matter now.. I’m here.” She asks if there is room in the shelter & Ralph is quick to squash any thoughts she has of sleeping anywhere but on the cold ground. Her tribe never shared the tarp at camp & he thinks she should know what it feels like. Ralph says: “If it was my house she wouldn’t be sleeping on the ground” No… she’d be sleeping with creepy Uncle Charlie or Gramma Kiser.. I think I’d take the ground?

     

“But this ain’t my house, this is demption island” “Rob was usin you like toilet paper, you wiped his ass now you ?? !! I lost it again! I must have rewound this a dozen times & without the subtitles I have no idea what this guy is saying !

Duel – The Puzzled Rooster

Matt “the Meek” Mike “the Marine” Ralph “the Rooster” & Andrea “the Annihilator” must complete a maze, break a tile, retrieve a bag containing puzzle pieces untie it & build the puzzle. The first 3 to complete the challenge stay at Redemption Is & the loser goes to the Jury.

Ralph flies through the maze but gets stuck on the puzzle. Mike is first followed by Matt then Andrea. Ralph is sent to the Jury.

The onlookers return to camp & another scrap breaks out over the rice. Phillip is telling Natalie & Andrea that they don’t need to eat as much as the men since women require fewer calories to survive. Ashley takes that as “We don’t need to eat cause we’re girls” Not much of a stretch for Phillip you’d think? If Crazy = the “N” word Eating less could = not eating at all? Phillip doesn’t see it that way. He verbally attacks Ashley (I think this is his attempt at reverse psychology) “Don’t lie on me!” “Don’t lie on me!” Don’t you lie on me !” I know how many calories a woman needs because I’m a well read person!” Really Phillip !? Or could it be that you’ve tested this theory by starving some woman in the basement of your parents house ?

The girls tell Phillip to get out of their faces, Phillip thinks that means get in their faces & does just that by leaping on to the shelter beside Natalie. She squeals & runs off. Grant steps in with “come on dude!” Phillip calls out to the girls as they leave camp “Pageant Queens!” They yell back “Psycho!”

Rob checks in on Natalie after the battle with Phillip. He asks her again to keep him posted if Ashley talks about anyone else going to Redemption Is besides Phillip since that s who they are telling Ashley they are sending. Grant & Rob have discussed getting rid of Ashley but Natalie doesn’t need to know that yet since it will only freak her out. Ashley decides she needs to make a big move & get rid of strong competitor & talks to Rob about getting rid of Grant. Rob then tells Grant about it & he’s pissed! They discuss the upcoming challenge & that they can’t let Ashley win. Rob thinks Natalie is not bright but she’s innocent & pure & Ashley is trying to corrupt her. He won’t allow it !

Immunity & Reward Challenge – Busier than a one armed paper hanger

Challengers must retrieve bags of puzzle pieces using large fish hooks. Drag the bags to their mat, untie them & complete a puzzle of a fish skeleton by attaching the pieces as bones. To make it even more difficult they must do this with one hand tied behind their back. Reward is “Survivor room service” which will be a feast delivered to camp. Ashley blasts ahead knowing she is on the chopping block. Natalie can’t seem to get any of her pieces to stay in the puzzle. Grant & Rob make an effort to catch Ashley but she’s too far ahead. Ashley wins immunity & reward. She gets to choose one person to share her feast with. Surprise, she chooses Natalie.

Rob didn’t want it to go down this way but he will have to send Grant to Redemption Is. Now he’s got to do the dirty work. He’s got to tell Phillip that Grant is going & tell Grant that Natalie is going. Grant tells Rob they need to break up Ashley & Natalie Rob agrees & Grant quietly says “blindside” not knowing that it will be him that is blindsided. Room service arrives for the girls & they gorge until they feel like they could explode. Rob & Grant are wishing they’d choke on it. Not sure whether they’d rush to help or go for the food.

Rob rethinks his decision to send Grant to Redemption Is. Natalie & Ashley are getting too close & he may have to break them up, plus he’s really bonded with Grant. Isn’t it Bromantic!

Rob thinks one man should not have this much power in this game. Luckily he’s not an ordinary man.

Tribal council arrives & discussions ensue about who feels safe who doesn’t. Jeff asks Ashley if picking Natalie to share the reward may have put a target on them. She thought the target was there before the reward. Phillip is remarkably quiet at tribal only saying that they all knew Ashley would share her reward with Natalie. Everyone votes & Grant is blindsided. Lucky for Rob, G rant didn’t get to see all the votes for him & wasn’t sure when he left whether it was Phillip or Rob who betrayed him. This Sunday is the finale, can’t wait !

Here is your week 13 boot list:

Episode 12 – Welcome to the Family

It’s a Zapatera family reunion at Redemption Island. The castaways seem to think that if one of them can make it to the final it should be an easy vote since most of the jury members will be Zapatera.

At Murlonio camp Natalie is suffering from home sickness & PMS (lethal combo)

Rob tries to comfort her mostly because he doesn’t want her talking to anyone else or she may find out that he has promised all the remaining Ometepe a trip to the top 3 with him. He’s getting worried that his tribe members may get smart & give him a one way ticket to Redemption Island.

Tree mail arrives announcing the duel. Attached to the note is a package that contains a Sprint phone. The tribe is hoping this means messages from home. Their assumption is correct. Not a dry eye in the house. Let the group hugs begin!

Redemption Island gets the same tree mail & Matt seems to get his fire back announcing he will do anything to win this duel.

Duel & Reward – Family Tiles

Jeff announces the challenge. Each contestant tosses a ball to try & break 4 tiles that are lined up one behind the other in front of them. First one to break all 4 gets reward & remains at Redemption Is. 2nd & 3rd remain at Redemption Is, no reward. Last place goes to the jury. Reward is time with the family member that they received a video message from.

Mike is first to break a tile, Matt Steve & Ralph all miss. Mike keeps hitting his & speeds past the group for the win & reward. Matt gets 2nd & Ralph grabs 3rd. Steve is sent to the Jury. Here comes the twist. Jeff tells Mike he has a choice to make as he brings Mike’s mom out. He can take his reward & spend the day with his mom. He can give the reward to the Redemption Is group (Matt & Ralph) or he can give it to the members still in the game, the Ometepe 6 (aka The Marianos) Robfather looks like he wants to make him an offer, he can’t refuse.

Mike makes a speech about him asking God to help him win this challenge & this is what God would want him to do. The spirit world seems to have played a big part in this game of Survivor. Mike chooses to let the largest group receive the reward & Ometepe has a day visit at their camp with their family. Ralph thinks Mike gave them the reward to earn votes in case he gets back in the game, he thinks it was foolish & he would have taken the reward for himself.

The remaining Ometepe tribe show their family camp life & explain to them their strategy & how it has taken them this far in the game. The most memorable of course is Phillip’s discussion with his sister. He tells her his plan is to annoy everyone (Ummmm mission accomplished). They will take him to the final thinking no one will vote for Phillip, everyone hates him. He has his speech to the jury all planned (better set your PVR for an extra hour on that episode) Then he says he’s ready to go crazy if he has to. Phillip, have you ever tried putting the toothpaste back in the tube once you’ve squeezed it out ? You can’t put the crazy back either…… it’s out buddy, you brought the crazy on the very first episode.

Immunity Challenge – Stairway to Hell

Challengers must insert boards that have a peg pattern on them to complete steps and climb to the top of the staircase & release their flag. They can only take one board at a time if it doesn’t fit they have to go back down & try again with another board. At more than 100 degrees outside, this turns out to be a gruelling challenge. Not everyone can handle the pace as Rob Grant & Andrea quickly get ahead of the pack. Andrea & Rob are tied with Grant on their heels but Rob gets lucky & both Andrea & Grant grab a wrong board & have to go back down & try again. Rob wins immunity but not without some pain for his gain. His muscles cramp from dehydration & at one point I thought he was going down the stairs ass over tea kettle.

Returning to camp discussions start about voting out Andrea. She’s a strong competitor & has a close bond with Zapatera, giving her votes on the jury. Phillip decides to solidify his position as crazy camp dad announcing that the fishing nets were not put away properly & now they are mangled. Rob wonders if Phillip is playing him with his role as the crazy guy. Could Phillip have a closing argument  that would sway the jury, or will it put them to sleep? Could Phillip outwit the ultimate survivor? I wouldn’t put any money on it.

Tribal council has everyone looking nervous except Rob. Jeff asks Phillip what his (full blooded Cherokee) Great Grandfather would say to him at this point in the game. “He would say: “You’ve done everything right to get to this point hold the faith” REALLY ?!  Running around spearing crabs in your underwear yelling at people & calling them racist while your dead grandfather comes to you in your dreams was the right way ? I don’t get it? They vote & Andrea is blind sided & sent to Redemption Island.

Here is your week 12 boot list:

Episode 11 – You Can’t Handle the Truth !

The group returns to camp after Julie is voted out at tribal council. Steve decides to apologize to Phillip saying he is not a racist & didn’t mean anything racial by calling him crazy. “I just think you’re crazy” Phillip doesn’t think he is being sincere with his apology. He wants Steve to get voted off next. Steve tells the girls “good blindside.” He & Ralph expected one of them to go before Julie.

Rob has decided that as long as Phillip keeps up his antics he is under his protection & will accompany him to the final.

The following day sees Phillip awakening from another premonition from his “full blooded Cherokee grandfather.” He told him where he should look for his shorts. Don’t you just want to see the behind the scenes on this season? I think we’d find Rob whispering in Phillips ear while he’s sleeping. “Phillip, this is you’re grandfather….. you know, the full blooded Cherokee on you mothers side?”  “You will find your shorts near the water under a rock.”  Julie told him it was under a rock, they are living on a beach, surrounded by rocks ! Genius Phillip! Sometimes he makes Ralph look smart. I bet when Julie was a kid she sucked at hide n go seek.

Phillip is successful in his mission & finds his shorts (thank God) “I make a living uncovering the truth!”  “You can’t handle the truth!” “Congratulations, we are at peace” He can’t wait to see Julie at the duel & show her whats in his… I mean his shorts ! No need to bring the hairless mole rat into the picture again.

Redemption Island finds Matt a broken man. He is ready to go home but believes God is keeping him here.

Everyone arrives to watch the competition between Matt, Mike & Julie. Phillip gives Julie the: “check this out B” Matt gives Andrea the: “may God smite you for what you have done death stare”

Jeff tells Matt he’s only spent 7 days in regular Survivor the rest have been on Redemption Is. He says he doesn’t look like he has the same fire he has had in other challenges & asks him if he’s ready to go home? Matt says he is ready to but if God wants him to stay then he will.

Challenge – Get The Puck Outta Here

Matt “the Meek,  Mike “the Marine” & Princess Juleia face off in a game of shuffle board. First two people with 3 pucks in the end zone move on & remain at Redemption Island, loser goes to the Jury. Mike quickly gets his 3 pucks in play & moves on. Matt looks like he’s not even trying & then…. something comes over him & he grabs second place & Julie is sent to the jury. Jeff, as if to say “hang in there” compares Matt”s days on Survivor to the 40 days fasting of  Jesus.  I see a resemblance.

Returning to camp the girls talk about Matt & his  broken spirit.  Rob & Grant talk about Andrea having a soft spot for Matt & she should go before he comes back in the game.

Immunity & Reward Challenge – Let Them Eat Cake

Survivors must compete in a round robin log roll competition.  First up Rob & Grant. Have you seen the size of Grants feet? I think he has a big advantage with those flippers. Grant takes out Rob & moves on to the next round. Next up : Andrea vs Ashley. Ashley moves on. Next: Ralph vs Steve. Ralph moves on.  Next: Phillip & Natalie. Phillip moves on. Semi finals are on & it’s Grant vs Ashley. Grant wins & goes to the final. Phillip vs Ralph (Dumb vs Dumber) Ralph goes to the final or is it the Phinile Ralph?

For the giant cake & milk reward it’s Ralph vs Grant. Ralph is no match for Grants flippers even with his arm flapping chicken move. Grant wins immunity & reward. He gets to choose 2 people to share the cake. He chooses Rob & then unexpectedly he chooses Andrea, he says to lull her into a false sense of security if they decide to blindside her. They are only given  a short amount of time to eat their cake so they dig in with their hands. Ralph yells, eat it like a pig ! Holy Deliverance Ralph !  Then he offers himself up. now I don’t recall exactly what he offered but he did announce afterward. “I’m not a gay person but I’d do anything for chocolate cake. ” Gross!

Jeff also gives the tribe a mystery package to be opened at tribal. They all speculate what could be in the package.  Rob thinks it’s cards & discusses with Grant what their next move will be if the twist means 2 people get voted out instead of one. Ralph & Steve have a conversation or Ralph talks & Steve just nods because he can’t understand a word he says. Ralph: “I’m on the Chot Blok.” “Der be nun til whit heppens ” Steve: huh? Come again ? One more time” Three times he repeated it & I had no idea what he said. Thanks for the subtitle. He said : “There’s gonna be none tell what happens.” Hmmmm…….Okay ?  Rob talks to Ashley & Natalie & they agree that Andrea is too close to the other tribe members & she should go soon. Steve gets a moment alone with the girls & tries to convince them to ditch their alliance with Rob. Stating he will dump each one of you & take Nimrod to the final. SO THATS THE N WORD ?! The girls tell Rob what Steve said & Rob actually seems nervous & is thinking maybe Steve should be next to go.

Tribal council brings the shortest speech ever by Phillip. Steve gives one more “lets do it” to the girls & they vote. Ralph is sent to Redemption Island. The tribe is asked to open the mystery package & read the top card. They go straight into another immunity challenge & will vote someone out immediately after.  Each member has a stack of cards with symbols on them. Jeff shows the group symbols on his cards then asks them to repeat the order. Get one wrong & you’re out. Phillip is out first, followed by Natalie then Andrea & Grant. Rob wins immunity again. They vote & as they vote they show Andrea cheering “Ometepe!” I couldn’t help but think if she gets voted out will it be: Omegod ! But Ometepe cleans house & votes off the last of Zapatera. Steve is sent to Redemption Island.  It’s going be pretty crowded over there. Kind of a boring episode in my opinion. I expect a lot more next week as the Ometepe tribe has to start breaking down the alliance.

Here’s your week 11 boot list:

Episode 10 – Rice Wars

A long time ago, on an island far far away.

Rice Wars

Episode X – A New Low

It is a period of tribal war. Rebel forces striking from neighboring tents, have won their first victory against the evil Mariano Empire. During the battle, Rebel spies managed to hoard grains of rice from the Empire’s secret weapon the Rice Jar, an armored container guarded by an evil warrior with enough power to destroy an entire tribe. Pursued by the Empires sinister agents, Princess Juleia races back to camp, custodian of the stolen pants that can save her people and restore freedom to the island.

 (Apologies to the handful of people who may not have seen or remember the original Star Wars intro)

Redemption Island shows Matt, Mike & David discussing the upcoming challenge. Matt asks how do you have a 3 person duel, is that possible? They toss around some suggestions like a trial (David, the lawyer wishes) & a Truel. I think these guys might have made an interesting sitcom. They could call it: 2 ½ brains.

Speaking of half a brain, Phillip is deep in meditation & speaking in tongues. Or maybe he is channeling his Cherokee Grandfather & he is throat singing.

 Phillip says that Thattagotta (Buddha’s definition of God) is everywhere. It speaks to him through every living creature. I googled the word & I have to assume that this is another “Phillipism” Nowhere in any Buddhist writings could I find anything even close to Thattagotta. If anyone can tell me different please enlighten me (literally)

Phillip has a premonition. His Grandfather comes to him and tells him that his relationship with Rob has achieved a full circle of trust. I‘m not really sure what that means but I’m pretty sure the red headed step child is in for a surprise when his step daddy Rob sends him into foster care on redemption island.

He returns to camp to find Zapatera eating again! Julie took seven and a half scoops of rice! Phillip decides to steal some of Zapatera’s rice in order to stop them from eating so much. Zapatera knows they’re going to Redemption Island so what’s the point of leaving the rice for Ometepe. The tribe receives tree mail & is sent to watch the challenge.

Challenge – House of cards

Matt “The Meek” Mike “The Marine” & David “The Destroyer” must build a house of cards to an eight foot marker. The first 2 that get to eight feet stay at Redemption Island & the loser is the first member of the jury.

David uses the tortoise approach slow & steady hoping Mike & Matt tumble before the eight foot mark. It does not pay off as Mike beats them both (by a hare haha) & Matt follows for second place. David is sent to the jury.

The tribe returns to camp & the rice wars continue. Rob & Grant develop a theme song and sing about the camps Rice War.

Ometepe finds maggots have contaminated their rice. Andrea & Phillip dump the rice on a blanket & start picking out the maggots.

Little tip, if they’re moving… it’s probably not rice.

Andrea asks the Zapatera tribe if they can share their container. Zapatera will not pool the rice & I think they have good reason. Maggots don’t just appear out of thin air (like feathers Phillip) they are laid & who’s to say that more won’t hatch after they move the rice? Phillip is furious & calls them inhumane. He tries to negotiate with Steve but has no success. I’m guessing calling him “Seth” didn’t help ?Phillip tells Steve that he is being irrational & not listening to him. He says “I’m going to put it in there & you’ll have to come to me for rice. Steve then calls Phillip a lunatic. Then the feathers start to fly. Phillip: Any time someone of my colour gets up in one of your faces, you feel like I’m a lunatic, I’m crazy.” “You think I’m crazy?” “I’ll show you crazy!” “That’s what happens with some white folks, they like to take a black man and make him crazy when he makes an argument that you don’t want to hear.”

Steve says: “Really? Did he just go there? Yes he did & look out, he’s not done ! Phillip: This “N” is crazy! “I am crazy!” “I’m a Wang Chung Kung Fu expert” (Ashley in the background: OMG I love that song) “If you start something, I’ll finish it, you’ll be on your knees begging for rice!” Sleep with one eye open Zapatera.

Steve decides Phillip doesn’t just have a chip on his shoulder it’s a whole log.

Immunity Challenge – Wheel of Misfortune

Challengers spin around to try & unscrew a tray, which will be used as a base to hold the puzzle they build in the first part of the challenge. Six move on to the final puzzle. Winner gets immunity.

The race is on & everyone is is spinning trying not to get dizzy. Once they release their tray they have to build a puzzle inside it. Rob moves on then Julie & Phillip who looks like he could use a hammer the way he’s trying to fit his pieces together “you fit a minute ago… why won’t you fit now?” is stuck on the sidelines while Ralph, Andrea, Steve & Grant move on. Now they must build a larger puzzle around the outside of the tray. No one can match Rob in a puzzle challenge & he wins immunity.

Zapatera’s only hope is that Phillips last tirade will send him packing. Zapatera continues to irritate Ometepe by consuming so much rice that Julie is starting to get sick of it. Phillip wanders off for more meditation & while he’s away Julie decides it’s a good idea to bury Philips shorts. NOOOOOOO ! He returns & asks “has anyone seen my trunks?” “They were here on the clothesline & it looks as though they got up and walked away” (I imagine by now his underwear could certainly get up & walk away) He suspects Steve and tells him “This isn’t the NFL. In the NFL they have rules” “Keep telling me I’m crazy” ( He says with a machete in his hand)

Rob thinks it could be time for Phillip to go, they have the numbers & he is driving everyone crazy & now without his shorts they have to see him in his stinky pinkies 24/7

Tribal Council

I noticed tribal council started really early in the show & I wondered….. are we going to get another speech from Phillip? Of course we are, plus Jeff holds an impromptu therapy session. Steve explains to Jeff that a discussion between him & Phillip was taken racially. Phillip jumps in & goes on about his father being called “boy” & how Steve calling him crazy meant he was calling him the n-word. Jeff can’t understand how crazy = n-word ? Phillip tries to explain. He asks Jeff “Do you know what it feels like to be a woman Jeff? Umm no? Why ? What have you heard?

In the end Jeff discovers that it’s seems to be about perception of which Phillip has none ! The truth comes out about who stole Phillips shorts & Jeff declares it a good therapy session. Everyone votes & Julie is sent to Redemption Island & the mystery as to where the shorts are buried remains a mystery.

Yikes ! Not looking forward to the next few episodes as Phillip continues to drop weight & his underwear get bigger & bigger.

Here is your week 10 boot list:

Birds of a Feather

Matt arrives at Redemption Island & congratulates himself on being the most naive person ever to be on Survivor. Well at least he didn’t give up an immunity idol & then get kicked off. Right Erik ?  Or play a fake immunity idol… Randy?

David thinks Rob is a genius calling him a mafia boss who took a hit out on Matt. Mike is trying to suck up to Rob calling him brilliant. Rob takes it all in. Ralph approaches the girls & asks “ Am I on the chot blok?” Ashley corrects him. You mean “the chopping block?” Ya, dat der chopping blok” Em I on it? She & Natalie tell him they haven’t talked about who they are targeting next. Ralph is confused & asks himself: “How can we play da game wen we dunno where ta start?” Well Ralph, much like the sweater you’re wearing. You find the loose thread & you keep pulling on it until it unravels.

Rob plans to keep Ometepe united by not allowing them to bond with Zapatera. He wants them to hate the other tribe. He won’t let anyone from his tribe go anywhere by themselves so that Zapatera can’t infiltrate them. Natalie lets Rob know that Ralph talked to Ashley & told her that he would vote for her if he is on the jury in hopes that he won’t be the next to go. Rob is choked that Ashley didn’t tell him this. Has she learned nothing from Matts departure?

 Immunity Challenge – Smash & Grab a Mouthful

 Phillip is sporting a new look. Jeff asks him about the feather he is wearing. Phillip tells him he was meditating & “out of thin air” the feather appeared. He said it was a sign that the Ometepe tribe would have good luck in the challenge. You gotta watch those things that come out of thin air Phillip, They’re not always feathers.

Challengers must dig for a club, untie & smash their tile. 6 will move on to the next stage where they must take a mouthful of water crawl under an obstacle & spit the water into a tube. First 3 to fill their tube move onto the next stage & complete a block puzzle.

Rob, Grant, Mike, David, Julie & Ralph all find their club & smash the tile to move on to the next stage. I think Ralph had trouble with the water transfer in the next stage since he can’t seem to keep his mouth shut. Grant fills his tube & moves on as well as David & Mike. I thought David was supposed to be the “puzzle master”? Grant kicks his butt in the final leg of the challenge & wins individual immunity. Does it really belong to him though, or does it belong to the mob boss?

The tribe returns to camp & Rob returns to keeping tabs on Ometepe. Mike thinks Rob is acting like a prison guard watching over his inmates. David calls Ometepe the Mariano crime syndicate.

Zapatera starts digging around the Murlonio flag hoping for a hail Mary. Maybe there’s another immunity idol in play. Robs sees them digging and rounds up his troops to gather the shovels & show these fools who’s boss. Rob is feeling a little paranoid about someone else finding an idol. With good reason since that’s how he was sent home his last time on Survivor. They dig deep enough to prove that there is no idol…. about six feet I’d say ?

Tribal council brings another gem of a speech by Phillip with more meditation stories this one involving his full blooded Cherokee grandfather and a vision of Ometepe’s long rein. Ralph finds it necessary to tell Phillip he’s on the bottom of his alliance & he’ll be going soon. Phillip tells Ralph that he likes it on the bottom. I can look up & see what’s going on. Ralph says maybe I’ll git a feather, maybe I’ll go out on the beach & a whole bird will fall out the sky! Phillip tells him he will never be part of their alliance because he can’t hold his tongue. Is that what it requires Phillip ? REALLY !?

Then he babbles on about having no college degree (surprised?) and working as a federal agent & receiving the 2nd highest award for ? I stopped listening. Way to go Phillip. You’re # 2 ! When you received your special agent certificate, did you have to print it yourself? Did it come with a plastic badge that said “Agent” and everyone just called you “special” ? Jeff finally tells everyone it’s time to vote. Mike is sent to Redemption Island. Ralph continues his butchering of names with: Philite.

Returning from tribal Rob calls Phillip his loyal soldier & decides it would be best for him to take Phillip to final 3. No one likes him so he won’t get the votes. Phillip states in his interview that the tribe members think he’s naive they think he’s crazy but really he is complex & now is not the time to reveal his secrets.

Ralph wants to talk to Ometepe but Rob is always watching. They won’t talk to him unless it’s about something other than game strategy.

Immunity Challenge – Monkey See Monkey Fall

Contestants must hang from a bar with their hands & legs after 20 minutes they must let their hands go & only hold on by their legs.

Before the competition starts Jeff hands everyone a white rock & a black rock. He says you can choose to eat or play. White rock means you eat black means you play. They show their rocks & Phillip & Steve choose to eat & chow down on hamburgers. Everyone else plays.

Rob is the first one knocked out & has to watch Phillip & Steve eat for the remainder of the competition.20 minutes & half a dozen burgers pass & they move to the legs only portion of the challenge. Julie is out David is turning blue Grant is out & Ralph is right behind him. David is the last of the men to fall. Andrea asks the girls if she can have this challenge. Ashley & Natalie let go. Andrea wins individual immunity.

They get back to camp & Ralph discovers a bunch of fish in their net. Rob says it’s been dead too long & they shouldn’t eat it. He doesn’t want his tribe to take anything from Zapatera. He tells them not to eat the fish & they obey. But the smell of the food is too much for Grant & he breaks down and eats the fish with Zapatera. He hopes he is not sleeping with them later.

Back to tribal & Phillip is sporting his feather again & takes the floor for another riveting discussion about the creation of “Stealth R Us” And it’s impenetrable forces led by himself “the Specialist” Rob “the Mentalist” & Grant “the Assassin. David looks like he wishes Grant would just kill him & put him out of his misery. He thinks Rob has so much control over his tribe it’s more like a cult. Why stay here & be tortured? He thinks it might be more peaceful at Redemption Island. His wish is granted (ha ha “Granted”) & he is voted out & sent to join Mike & Matt. Maybe they can create a task force over there like “Stealth R Us” They can take Rob down ! Like Elliot Ness took down Al Capone!(for tax evasion) Thats no laughing matter. Right Richard ?

Here’s your week 9 boot list:


Episode 8 – Fool Me Twice

Zapatera tribe returns from tribal with guilt after voting out Sarita. They feel bad she didn’t know & went to Redemption Island with only the shirt on her back. Not sure why, even if you felt safe you wouldn’t bring your bag. It’s not like she had a lot to pack.

Hmmmm should I wear the open toed sandals with the blue bikini? The open toed sandals with the tank top & shorts? The open toed sandals with the buff & the blue bikini? The open toed sandals with shorts & the buff? Open toed sandals with the tank top & bikini?

Decisions, decisions.

Sarita arrives at Redemption Island & promptly sings the praises of the Zapatera tribe that just voted her out. Matt is all ears. 1: because he just loves praises & 2: He is gathering information on who to trust when he is back in the game.

Back at Ometepe. OMG Phillip found his pants !!! Tree mail announces the duel & asks the entire tribe to attend. Leaving both tribes speculating a merge.

At the arena Jeff announces the winner of the duel will go back into the game.

Challenge – I pegged you wrong

Matt “the meek” vs Sarita “the defeater”

Competitors must balance themselves on foot pegs of 3 sizes, starting on the largest peg. After 15 minutes they move down to the smaller peg, 15 more & they move to the smallest & last peg. You fall off, you’re out. Sarita looks pretty comfortable & Jeff points out that women usually do well in this type of challenge. Matt has his Lord looking out for him & Sarita falls, but unlike every other contestant that has come through Redemption Island… she doesn’t cry. Maybe she’s tougher than I thought. Matt returns to the game. Jeff hands him a buff of a different colour. The tribes are merged.

The merged tribe shares a feast while deciding on a name. Rob suggests Murlonio which he says means “from the sea united” when in fact it’s just an inside joke between him and Amber & is a name he has given to one of her stuffed animals.

After the feast the tribes seem to break apart for discussions. Mike talks to Matt since he was voted out of Ometepe he thinks he will be easy to convince to vote with Zapatera. He offers him & Andrea final 3 & tells him he has no problem voting off his own tribe members.

Matt takes Andrea aside & tells her about the conversation with Mike. He says to get anywhere in this game you have to make bold moves. He says he wants to vote out Phillip, then Steve then blindside Rob! Andrea is unsure of this plan. Matt is torn between doing what he thinks is the right thing & playing the game & joining sides with Zapatera.

Robs sees what he calls the “Christian Coalition” building an alliance. He wants to send Mike to redemption Island but he is worried about Matt

Immunity Challenge- Hold Your Disc & Balls

Individuals stand on a half buried log while holding a disc with one hand that has a ball on top of it. At intervals another ball is added to a maximum of 3. Then it’s who can hold on the longest. Drop a ball or fall off the log & you’re out. Phillip looks shaky from the start (told you he was unbalanced) he hangs on though. Julie get knocked out & we go to 2 balls. Ashley & David are gone quickly. We move to 3 balls which knocks out Andrea & Grant. According to Jeff, Matts balls are “dangling” he checks, & is out of the game. Phillip who’s balls have been dangling most of the season also checks out. Ralph resorts to whistling for his balls to come on back. Heeeeer bawlly bawlly bawlly Ralph is out. Steve is out. Mike & Natalie are remaining. Jeff : Mike looks like his balls are glued to his Di?? His Disc, you perverts! He can’t stay on the log, Mike is out & Natalie wins individual immunity.

The tribe returns to camp & Mike is still plotting with Matt, he can’t seem to have a word alone with him so he decides to write him a note

Matt is feeling guilty for even thinking of betraying his tribe so he tells Rob about his discussions with Zapatera. Rob can’t believe Matt is giving him this information & it has sealed Matt’s fate for Rob. The only concern is will Andrea vote with the tribe or will she try & save Matt.

Tribal brings yet another speech from Phillip. Ralph tries to interrupt, apparently he hasn’t learned yet not to interrupt Phillip during one of his long winded speeches. It only makes them longer. Jeff asks Ralph what he thinks about Matt being sent to Redemption Island. Should he trust his tribe again? Ralph said something in hillbilly again. I didn’t get it but I think loosely translated it was: Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, well… ya fooled me agin ! (Pretty sure that was a George Bush Jr. original) Everyone votes & Matt once again is cast out to Redemption Island. Betrayed just like Jesus…. & Caesar. Et tu Andrea?

Tune in next week to see if Matt turns the other cheek…. again.

Here’s your week 8 boot list: